Nicole vs. Life
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
