told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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