I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
