he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
