i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
