a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I'm passing your future prison.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Randomize
