I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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