a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
