and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
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I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
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Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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