i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
All I want is dick and wine.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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