Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize