no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize