a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
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