I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
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