So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
