You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
