Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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