I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
