She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
