he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
he was CRYING into my vagina
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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