He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
