you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize