Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
she looked like the before picture.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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