i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
