My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Randomize
