I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.