he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
