I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..