Sponge bath it is.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
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I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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