She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
