If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
