1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
this boner is exhausting
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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