grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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