After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Mom said you looked used
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Randomize
