Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
