I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Randomize