idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
