I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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