Sry I called you an 8
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Randomize
