I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
