PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
