How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
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i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
the day after is always just damage control
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
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I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize