why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
