My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize
