I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Just pee around me
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
