are you so shy because you have an std?
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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