i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
She made me pour olive oil on her.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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