sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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