Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?