My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Naked Twister starts at high noon
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Randomize
