First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
