Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
