Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
