I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
He better not be in your backpack
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
