I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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