Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Randomize
