i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
high people should be assigned attendants
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
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