Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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