I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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