If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I think people are normalizing furries
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
