I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
