Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
