While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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