It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
